Happy Birthday, Sweet Sixteen
by She'sAShipper
Summary: Completed! Chapter Ten is up! From Now On I'm Gonna Be Yours Rory's POV. Rory and Jess go public, and speak more to their relationship.
1. The Prettiest Girl I've Ever Seen Jess

Happy Birthday, Sweet Sixteen

Disclaimer: I do not own the song or the characters. The stuff that happens, though is mine.

A/N: For the purposes of this story, Luke and Lorelai have been together since Rory was a baby. Jess is three years older than Rory, and he came to live with Luke and Lorelai when he was seven.

_Tonight's the night I've waited for  
Because you're not a baby anymore  
You've turned into the prettiest girl I've ever seen  
Happy birthday sweet sixteen  
  
What happened to that funny face  
My little tomboy now wears satin and lace  
I can't believe my eyes you're just a teenage dream  
Happy birthday sweet sixteen_

"You almost ready?" My uncle Luke Danes called from the bathroom. "Lorelai hates it when we're late."

I rolled my eyes. I've lived with Lorelai, my Uncle Luke, and Lorelai's daughter Lorelai, aka Rory since I was nine until I was 17. I knew Lorelai's penchant for being late, and I also knew how much she hated it when someone else was late.

"I can't believe Rory's sixteen," I grumbled. "It was like yesterday she was six…"

"You sound like an old man," Luke laughed as he tied his tie. "I can't believe you agreed to come back for her birthday. I mean, you two really didn't part on the greatest terms."

That was true. The summer Rory was thirteen; I left to live with my father in Venice Beach, California. She'd had developed a crush on me while I was going through my punk phase and openly declared her feelings for me in front of two of my buddies. I say buddies not friends because the term friend doesn't describe Mark and Jack.

So of course I embarrassed her, called her a geek and told her I'd never love a bookworm like her. Rory could never let things go, so she reminded me in not uncertain terms that I was a book worm myself. Again, she did it in front of Mark and Jack.

The whole thing ended with me snapping a cruel comment to the effect of "Get away you little freak," and with Rory in tears. Oh, well. It was all in the past.

"That's in the past, Uncle Luke," I said. "She's probably over it by now. She's probably…Does she still have that boyfriend?"

"Holden?" Luke asked. "No. There's a new kid, Dean something sniffing around but nothing really came of it yet," he paused. "Come on, Jess. The traffic is going to be Hell."

"What traffic? It's Stars Hollow?"

"Oh, my friend," Luke grinned and I knew before he said it where we were going.

"No," I grumbled. "Not Hartford! Not the Gilmore house!"

Luke rolled his eyes and grimly nodded. "The Gilmore house."

By some miracle the traffic was relatively light, we only ended up being about a half an hour late. By the crowded streets and the busy valet, we could tell though that most of Rory's guest had arrived before we did.

When we entered the huge mansion our outer coats were taken by the maid and we were greeted by Emily Gilmore.

"Luke," she smiled and kissed his cheek. "You're late. Lorelai was getting worried. She thought maybe you weren't coming."

"Of course I was coming," Luke sighed. "I wouldn't miss my own kid's birthday party. I was waiting for Jess. He's sort of a surprise for Rory," Luke explained.

Perhaps, I should give you a little background information. Uncle Luke married "Aunt Lorelai" when I was four and Rory was only a tiny baby. Rory wasn't actually his daughter, but in his heart and heck in his mind she was. He loved her like his own, he paid for her private school, and he even got in a fight with the father or the first boy to make her cry. I got in a fight with boy himself. But more on that later. Emily was talking to me.

"Jess, oh my, you've grown up, haven't you?" she said.

"Nineteen, Mrs. Gilmore," I replied retreating to the formal name I'd used until I was fourteen.

"Nineteen! And you're attending college?" she continued.

"Yes, I just transferred from UC to University of Connecticut this semester," I told her.

"Majoring in?" she pressed.

"I'm still undeclared, but probably English literature," I said.

"Ah, literature. How nice. You don't find literature or reading too "geeky" then?" She needled using the word I used to hurt Rory three years ago. If she remembered it, chances are Rory did too.

I must have seems uneasy because Uncle Luke squeezed my shoulder as I answered, "Not at all, Mrs. Gilmore."

Luke and I moved further into the party until we found Lorelai by the open bar. "There you are," she smiled at Luke and kisses him. "Why so late?"

"Hey, Aunt Lorelai," I greeted not sure how Rory's mom would receive me.

"Jess!" she exclaimed and hugged me. "It's so good to see you. We didn't know if you'd make it. I hoped you would."

"I didn't know if I was going to come," I admitted. "But I wanted to see Rory."

"Rory's up in my old room right now," Lorelai said. "My mother invited some of her school mates from Chilton…"

"Rory's going to Chilton!" I marveled. "She'll hate it, those kids are so…"

Lorelai and Luke nodded. "She loves the school," he said. "But the students…I'll go up and talk to her," Luke offered.

"Luke's she really pretty upset. Give…" But I spoke up.

"Let me talk to her," I said.

Luke looked as if he were about to protest, but Lorelai smiled. "She'll be glad to see you, Jess. She missed you. My old room is upstairs, fifth door on the right."

I nodded and started for the stairs when Luke caught up to me. He must have sprinted to get me that fast. "Jess, be nice. I don't want Rory's birthday totally ruined and I don't want Lorelai to be anymore upset."

I studied Luke's face. He'd always been protective of Rory. She was after all his little girl, but usually while he worried about Lorelai and tried to make her happy, he usually let things go. Lorelai was exciteable, she always got crazy. In fact, there were only four times before I could remember Luke didn't want to get her excited and that was…

"Uncle Luke, is Aunt Lorelai…"

He smiled and nodded. "No one knows yet in case it's like the last time…"

The summer that Rory turned twelve, Luke and Lorelai finally had a baby of their own. A few years before Lorelai had miscarried a baby of theirs, the loss devastated her. Now, only a few years ago, Lorelai found she was pregnant again. She lost that baby also. Thus, Uncle Luke was a little protective of his pregnant wife.

"I hope it's not, Uncle Luke," I said sincerely. "I won't upset anyone. I promise."

Uncle Luke nodded and let me go upstairs.

I could hear muffled sobs through the thick oak door. Rory was not really a crier, althought I do recall her crying to me at times.

I was nervous that Rory would still hate me for how rude I was before I left. I did try to apologize of course, but she was too angry and hurt to hear me. Anyway, I wanted to see her, the girl I've know since childhood, as an adult. So with a deep breath, I knocked on the door.

"Go away!" was the tearful reply.

I wanted my presence to be a surprise so I didn't call through the door. I tried to door knob. It was opened.

The door squeaked as it opened and Rory sniffled. "Go away, Mom," she cried her back to me.

I observed her as she was lying on the bed. Her hair was still long and straight. It still looked like spun silk. Her body had become longer, which was no real surprise, Lorelai was 5'9", and I could see, even from behind that her body had become softer, curvier, more feminine, more grown-up.

When Rory was little, I would comfort her by sitting beside her stroking her hair. As I moved closer to her, my fingers itched to do the same, yet didn't anger her by taking liberties I shouldn't, so I said simply, "It's not Mom."

"Jess?" Rory rolled over and surprise registered on her face.

Rory's eyes were red from crying, but her cheeks were not blotchy like most girls were when they had been crying. No, correction, like most women's were when they were crying. My little Rory was now a woman, I could plainly see that.

Rory was full grown woman, her tall, slim figure accentuated in a dress mad of satin and lace. Her funny metal grin was gone now, for when she smiled I saw white perfect teeth. She had become beautiful, the girl I'd once seen as a sister, was now the prettiest thing I'd ever laid eyes on, and I had laid eyes on many girls in California. But none of them could hold a candle to the vision before me.

"Happy Birthday, Sweet Sixteen!" I smiled. "Why the tears, pretty girl?" I asked using the endearment I'd use most of our lives, realizing how true it was.

Rory shrugged and sat down on her mother's old bed. "Grandma…Grandma invited all these kids from school," she shrugged again. "It's stupid. What are you doing here?"

"Uncle Luke invited me when I talked to him last week?" I replied.

"And you came?" she seemed surprised. "Of course I came," I said. "You think I'd miss your sweet sixteen?"

"Well, I haven't seen you in three years," Rory reminded me. "You didn't call or even write…"

"I called Luke," I replied in my defense. "I wasn't sure if you'd forgive me."

Rory frowned and flopped down on the bed. "You were right anyway," she cried. "I am a freak."

"Hey," I whispered, now taking the liberty of stroking her hair. I was completely wrong. You're smart, not a freak or a geek, or whatever mean things I said. You even got into Chilton, that's so great, Rory," I tried to comfort her.

"No one there likes me," she confessed. "They thing I'm a rube."

"Not everyone has to like you, Rory. NO one liked me in California, but I got on all right. Hell, no one much liked me in Stars Hollow either. Anyway, it's there loss if they don't like a pretty smart woman like you."

"Now I know you're just saying that," she sniffed. "I'm not pretty. I'm gross."

"Only when you eat," I joked. Then said seriously, "Oh, Rory. You are very pretty. I can't believe my own eyes at how beautiful you grew up to be," I told her and meant it.

Rory rolled over and hugged me, keeping her wet face in my neck. I held her close, stroking her hair, feeling the familiar pull on my heart strings that I'd always got with Rory. I let her cry as I remembered the first day I felt that pull. A day that, by the time this is finished, I'll mark as one sent from angels.

End Part One

Next Part: When You were Only Six: Jess keeps and eye on Rory for Luke while he plays ball with his friends. What happens when Taylor's nasty grandson, starts bothering Rory?


	2. The Prettiest Girl I've Ever Seen Rory P...

My grandmother bough my Mom and me some very interesting party dresses, resembling silk tutus. Of course, Mom being as talented as she is with a needle managed to turn that tulle like nightmare into a gorgeous dress for my sweet sixteen. That's right, I Rory Gilmore, will be turning sixteen today and my grandmother decided I needed a "proper" Sweet 16 party.

I could hear my Mom through the bathroom door getting sick again. I only remember her getting sick with my brother Jake, not the two babies she'd lost. I suppose this nausea is a good sign, although I know Mom does not embrace it.

"Mom, what you're done we've got to go. We're going to be late," I called.

"I know. But Grandma all read has us coming early, so it's okay," she answered.

"What about Luke?" I asked.

I heard mom flush the toilet and start brushing her teeth again. "He's coming over from the diner," she said. "He told me he'd shower upstairs so we'd have the bathroom free."

Ah, Luke Danes. I should after all these years call him Dad, but I still don't. I did for a while when I was really little, before my Mom explained the actual circumstances surrounding my conception and birth. Anyway, Luke has always been there. He was there for my first step, my first word, when my first tooth fell out, when I had my tonsils outs, when I started school, when I had my first cup of coffee...basically every significant moment in my sixteen years, Luke Danes has been present for, and for most of those moments, so was his nephew Jess.

Jess. I think about Jess an awful lot. More so now than in the last three years. I'd really embarrassed him the last time we were together, declaring my obsessive teenage crush on my handsome older step cousin in front of all of his friends. I did this the day before he left for California. I still don't know why. Perhaps, I thought if he knew how I felt about him that he'd have stayed. It didn't make sense, I know, but it didn't have to.

Jess responded to that situation like any sixteen-year-old boy who was put into that position. He retaliated with his back up. He rebuked me harshly, poking fun at the one thing that we both held most sacred and that hurt my tender feelings. Later of course, he'd apologized. He'd almost cried trying to win my forgiveness. I'd forgiven him even before he apologized. I just couldn't face him knowing how much I'd embarrassed myself.

By now, Mom is ready; my little brother is safely stored at Babette's...mom refused to expose him to grandma's events before he is of age. In her opinion that meant puberty.

All the way to Hartford, I had an uneasy feeling in my stomach. Grandma never planned "small parties" at least not by my standards. Also, she'd invited my entire class from Chilton. I couldn't stand any of them, and especially not Tristan DuGrey or Paris Gellar. If I saw either of them I'd...I couldn't wait for Mom and Luke to see them. Mom will flip because she knows I don't like my Chilton mates. Luke will flip because Mom did. Whenever she was pregnancy, he got really big on the "let's not upset Lorelai" bandwagon. If Grandma did...let's say Luke would address it.

We arrived at Hartford on time for the party but later by my grandmother's standards. She did know about Mom's condition though, so she didn't make it an issue.

Don't' get me wrong, I love my grandparents, I truly do. Sometimes though, I understand why mom would rather have a Novocain free root canal than participate in an event or function with them. My mom and grandma are simply different people, and sometimes people that different simply cannot assimilate, relative or not.

The party was soon underway and I was being paraded around as the pride of the Gilmore family. I was introduced to DAR members, members of my grandfather's insurance community, lawyers, doctors, even a city councilman and state senator. Soon my grandmother showed me to the room where my "school friends" had gathered. I couldn't stay in that room more than a minute before I could hear them whispering about me. Most of them didn't even know who I was.

The last straw was when Grandma told me I should address my guests. I didn't want to address these people, I didn't know them, and they weren't even my guests, they were hers. I lost it then, I yelled at Grandma saying this was her party and she should make the speech. Then I fled upstairs.

"Hey. Can I come in?" My mom asked.

"It's your room," I replied grumpily.

"How are you doing?" Mom asked me joining me on the bed.

"I'm sorry I snapped at Grandma," I said and meant it. This was such an awful night.

"Yeah, hugh? That was a pretty 'Freaky Friday' moment we had back there," she acknowledged.

"She just went ahead and invited all these kids from Chilton," I finally confessed. I hadn't said anything before because mom and grandma had been getting along and Luke had on the gag order decree.

"You're kidding," she sighed. "I thought she checked on that with you."

I confessed, "She didn't ask me or tell me."

Mom seemed sympathetic and apologized, "Oh, man, I'm so sorry."

"It just -- I don't know but it really made me mad," I told her. I really hated those Chilton kids they were so...like grandma, but without the polished social veneer.

"Oh, honey, why didn't you tell me?" Mom asked. I could tell she was feeling remorseful that she hadn't intercepted.

"Because you were happy. I mean, it's not very often that there's peace between the two of you. I didn't want to screw everything up," I told her. I didn't mention Luke and the baby that would only bring Mom down on him.

Mom smiled slightly and sighed, "Rory, I appreciate you wanting you wanting Mom and I to get along but you shouldn't keep stuff like that from me."

"I feel terrible. I mean, I've never yelled at her before." I did feel bad about yelling at my Grandma, but I also felt badly about not fitting in. I'd always had that problem; I was always the freak, just as Jess had said. I think part of the reason it hurt so much was because there was truth at the heart of his anger.

Mom tried to comfort me, but she only knew the half of it, "Listen, you'll apologize, all will be forgotten. You'll see," she reasoned. She got off the bed and looked around the room, "Man. It's like time has stood still in this room."

It was true; this room still looked like a teenage girl lived here. Not my mother though, someone else's teenage daughter. "It must be weird for you to be in this room now."

Mom gave a little snicker, "Yeah," she admitted. "It was weird for me to be in this room then." She moved to her old dollhouse and pointed to it, "You know, they gave this to me with the glass on."

I let out a long sigh. This was just another one of those times when I understood how mom felt growing up here. "I now officially know what it feels like to have grown up here," I told her.

"It's not official until you're huddled in the corner eating your hair," Mom said plainly. I could empathize.

The conversation turned then from out "Freaky Friday" moment to my mother's last birthday at the Gilmore house. It was when she was pregnant with me and it turned out that was the birthday that led her to runaway, which ended up with her in Stars Hollow, which eventually ended up with her marrying Luke.

Not long after that my grandmother came upstairs, made some comments about my manners and my mother and ordered the two of us to go downstairs. I left the bedroom, but couldn't force myself to go back down there. Not with Tristan and Paris and the rest of the Chilton crew. I shot mom a pleading look.

"Rory, go to the bathroom and freshen up your face," she told me and winked. I knew that meant, "Take as long as you need. I've got your back kid." Once again, I thanked God for our unspoken language.

I flopped back down on Mom's old bed and let the tears flow. I didn't understand it. Today was my 16th birthday; this was supposed to be a right of passage, a coming of age for me. I was supposed to feel like a woman today. Instead, I felt more like a child than I ever did before. I felt awkward like the freak I'd always known I was.

I'm not sure how long I cried in that bedroom, the room where my mother spent years doing the same. Eventually, I heard a knock at the door. It was probably Mom, but it could also be Luke. He should be here by now.

"Go away!" I called through the door.

They didn't go away. I heard the knob turn and the door open. It must be my Mom. Luke always respected my need for solitude. "Go away, Mom!" I said.

I could feel the "intruder" aka mom watching me for a few minutes before I heard the floorboards creak as the "intruder" came closer.

"It's not Mom," the "intruder" said. Now I had a name for my intruder. I'd know that voice anywhere.

"Jess?" I rolled over and looked at him. Surely, I was dreaming. Jess wouldn't be here. He probably forgot it was my birthday. He probably forgot all of the history we shared, remembering only my coldness toward him before he left.

My vision was blurred but not so much that I couldn't take in how beautiful he was. He'd always been strong and solid and he still was. He'd gotten taller, broader, resembling the category of man instead of boy. His eyes were still soft, holding in them an affection he'd once held for me. I was glad to see that emotion still lurking there.

Jess seemed a bit surprised himself. He's studying me, absorbing the transformation that has taken place for I have, at least in some respects, become a full-grown woman.

"Happy Birthday, Sweet Sixteen," he smiled. "Why the tears, Pretty Girl?"

Pretty Girl. That was our endearment. It had been since I was little. I didn't feel very pretty though. I didn't even feel like answering the query. But it was Jess. My Jess. My big brother, my best friends, my mortal enemy, and my first crush...all of these in one solid person. I could take to him, if no one else. I felt looking at him now I still could.

"Grandma," I began with a shrug of my shoulders. "Grandma invited all these kids from school," I shrugged again and he sat down beside me. "What are you doing here?" I finally asked him.

"Uncle Luke, invited me when I talked to him last week," he replied.

"And you came?" I still couldn't believe he had come.

"Of course I came. You think I'd miss your sweet sixteen?" he asked as if the concept that he would was ridiculous.

I felt compelled to remind him then that I hadn't seen or heard from him in three years. His response to that was shocking, "I called Luke," he told me. "I wasn't sure if you'd forgiven me," he confessed.

That confession opened my floodgates again. Jess' harsh words came flying back. He'd been right. I hadn't even blamed him for them because he'd been right then and he was still right now.

I flopped down on the bed. "You were right anyway," I sobbed. I am a freak."

Jess always could comfort me. His voice was soft, rich, very soothing and his hands were as strong as they were gentle, even as a child. I never felt safer than when Jess would thread his long, steady fingers through my hair. He did so now, in an ancient gesture that was almost as old as our special bond. "Hey, I was wrong," he admonished. "You're smart, you're not a freak. You even got into Chilton." He said it as if he were proud.

"None of them like me," I confessed.

Jess said something else out of which I only understood "their loss" and "pretty". I was simply lost in the feeling of his hands on my hair.

When I heard him call me pretty I knew he was only trying to comfort me and I said so. "Now I know you're just saying that," I sniffed. "I'm not pretty."

"Oh, you're very pretty. I can't believe my own eyes." He said it with such firm sincerity I almost believed he meant it.

I sat up and hugged him then buried my wet face in his neck. He continued to stroke my hair, letting me cry myself out. I marveled at this, at the way he always could comfort me, at the way we could always comfort each other. Even after all this time, I had a familiarity with Jess, an open trust. I don't remember when it started, but I do remember when I first felt this feeling of peace in Jess' arms. Funny, it was so long ago…

A/N: I know I promised chapter two we'd seen Jess defend Rory against Taylor's creepy grandson, but some comments, on and off of have made me decide to tell this story from both Jess and Rory's eyes. I have all ready written the Jess side of chapter three and that will be here soon. Thanks for reading, please continue to review.


	3. When You Were Only Six Jess

_When you were only six_

_I was your big brother_

I moved in with my Uncle Luke the summer I turned seven. My father had abandoned my mother and me and Mom took it extremely hard and started drinking a lot. The day after she got in a car accident with my in the care, the child welfare people took me. To this day I don't know how Uncle Luke found out I was in the system but he came and claimed me. Then he brought me to live with him and his wife, Lorelai and Lorelai's daughter Rory.

Rory was a pretty cute kid as I recall and a very smart one. Usually four years olds can't read yet, but this four year old was already reading Judy Blume and Laura Ingalls Wilder, a strange combination of authors and a very feminine one, but still it was refreshing.

It was refreshing to have a father again and a mother that was very attentive and concerned with my well being. It was also refreshing to have another kid around the house, even if it were an annoying little sister.

I remember a few years after I moved to Stars Hollow, I went to the town square with some friends. Uncle Luke went to the diner and Aunt Lorelai was interviewing new concierges for the inn. Rory was getting bored at the diner and Uncle Luke walked her down to the square.

"Jess," he called out to me. "Bring it in."

I called a time out and walked over to Uncle Luke. "Huh."

"I wish you'd use a real word when you answer me instead of Huh," Uncle Luke scolded.

"Huh," I repeated just to annoy him.

"Can you watch Rory for awhile?" he asked. "Just keep an eye on her until I get through with the lunch rush."

I looked down at little Rory, dressed in a little denim skirt, yellow top, and sandals. She was a cutekid and she stayed out of trouble.

"Sure, Uncle Luke. She can watch us play," I said taking her hand in mine.

"I don't want to watch I want to play too," she protested when Luke left.

"You can't play too, Rory," I replied all ready knowing never to use gender as an excuse with a Gilmore girl, so I said. "You're too little."

As it turned out Rory didn't like that response either. She wiggled her hand out of mine and held it up along with a thumb on her other hand. "I'm not too little. I'm six."

I sighed. I couldn't let her play, she'd get hurt. "Rory, you hate sports," I reminded her.

She giggled, "Oh yeah. Can I read your book?" she asked. I always had a book.

"What happened to your book from this morning?" I asked.

"I finished it," she answered shyly.

"Of course you can read my book," I told her, leading her over to the old oak tree. Underneath it I spread my jacket so that she wouldn't have to sit on dirt, then I handed her my well worn copy of _Oliver Twist_. "Here. I'll come over and check on you between innings," I told her.

She didn't answer me. She was all ready starting reading.

I went back to my game. Most of the guys had younger brothers or sister s so they understood the need for time out. The only kid that had a comment about me taking care of little Rory was Alan Lowry, the grandson of Stars Hollow grocer, Taylor Doose.

Alan hated me, he hated Luke, and for some reason, he really hated Rory. He was always picking on her or trying to make her cry. Usually she ignored him; she is such a calm kid.

"Have to watch the little bas…?" Alan began, but another one of Jess' friends, Kyle through a glove at his head.

"Shut up and play!" Jess barked and too his position in the field.

The game went on and I made sure to do as I promised and check on Rory between innings. I would usually find her engrossed in Dickens or watching our game.

Halfway between the sixth and seventh innings I got this uneasy feeling in my stomach so I looked up to check on Rory. I couldn't see her, but I could see Alan blocking her from my view. I dropped the bat by home plate and sprinted towards them.

I could see Rory as I got closer. She was trying to advance on Alan, seemingly to recover my book from his grasp. He was holding her off though, each time she moved to get closer, he'd move back. He didn't scare her though, she kept yelling at him.

"Give it back! It's Jess'," I heard her yelled. She had her mother's set of lungs.

"Give it back! It's Jess'," he mimicked in an imitation childlike voice.

Rory made another try for the book, and this time, Alan moved back and held the book higher as she advanced on him. I ran even faster my stomach in knots.

It turned out I didn't run faster enough. Rory tripped over a loose tree branch as she moved in on Alan and fell hard on the ground. Almost immediately she started to cry and Alan moved closer to her as she struggled to get up. As if he hadn't done enough to hurt her he used to opportunity to pull her denim skirt over her head, exposing to the world her tiny Barbie underpants.

Rory started to cry harder when she felt Alan's hands on her. She pushed him, but he rolled on top of her, trying to pull down her underpants.

I never stopped that day to think about what kind of damage had been done to that boy to make him so hateful. I only know that the Doose genes had to have something to do with it. I think also, Alan was the genius and the pride of Stars Hollow before Rory grew up a bit, so one could factor in jealousy.

What in reality was only five minutes, seven at the most seemed like hours to me. When I finally reached the two of them, I wanted to comfort Rory also as much as I wanted to give Alan a lesson in the proper way to treat my girl.

Impulse won out and when I approached I pulled Alan off of Rory and the two of us rolled around on the ground, me punching and smacking, Alan biting and pulling hair. I couldn't help but think during that time he fought like a girl, no wonder he picked on one.

"Get off me!" Alan snapped as I landed another punch to his jaw.

"What the Hell is wrong with you?" I shouted. "She's just a little girl. Pick on somebody your own size."

Alan never got to respond, because by that time the game broke fully and the rest of our friends had gathered around and were trying to pull me off of Alan. Normally, once I got going, it was hard for me to stop, I had a hot Danes temper. It was only the sound of Rory's sad little voice calling my name that helped me leave Alan to the others while I tended to her.

I knelt down next to her and started to gently brush her ponytail with my hand. "Where does it hurt?" I asked gently.

She sniffled and worried about her skirt, "It doesn't hurt that much."

"I didn't ask how much it hurt silly," I teased with a smile. "I asked where it hurt?"

Rory buried her face in my shirt, "My knees."

I could see both of her knees were scraped, the left one badly so much so that it was bleeding pretty heavily.

"Rory, we have to let Uncle Luke look at them, okay Sweetie?" I asked gently near her ear.

"My knees hurt. Can he come and get me?" she asked, now getting shaky and shy.

"No, but how about I carry you to the diner? Would you like that?"

A little head nodded and she burrowed closer to me. "Put your arms around my neck," I told her. "And hold on."

Two tiny arms wrapped around my neck and I carefully carried my precious burden back to the diner. Luke had heard about the raucous from Taylor, who no doubt heard about it from Alan.

"Jess, what do you think you're doing starting fights…" Luke trailed off when he saw Rory. He took her from my arms and hugged her.

"What happened Baby?" he asked, kissing her hair.

"Alan happened," I replied for her. "I thought that he deserved a good ass kicking…sorry," I cringed at Uncle Luke's grimace.

Luke smiled at me once Rory explained in her six year old tones what happened between her and Alan, and I knew I was forgiven the logistical snafu or fighting with Alan Lowry.

Luke bandaged Rory's knees and gave both of us ice cream cones. I didn't go back to the game that day, I stayed at the diner with Rory and taught her to play Scrabble. That night when I said good night to her, Rory put her arms around my neck and hugged me as tight as she ever had.

"I'm sorry Jess," she whispered into my shirt.

"For what?" I asked. What did she have to be sorry for.

"Because Alan took your book and because I messed up your game," she said.

"Alan's a jerk," I told her, running my hand down her hair. "I've got other books."

She smiled for the first time since she'd fallen that day and hugged me again. "Anyway," I added, "I like sticking up for you. It's what big brother's do."

"Are you my big brother, Jess?" she asked me.

"Not technically, because we don't have the some mommy and daddy. But I love you like a big brother, if that helps. And I'll always, always be there to protect you," I assured her, confident in my nine year old wisdom.

"You promise?" she asked me, snuggling down in the covers.

"I promise," I replied and turned out the clown light on her nighstand. I moved to the doorway to leave, so that Lorelai could finish the good night process. Rory's voice stopped me at the door, "I love you, Jess."

"I love you, Rory," I replied. And I realized then for the first time, that I really meant it.

A/N: The next chapter will be Rory's POV. I'll try and be less repetitious. Please review.


	4. When I Was Only Six Rory

Its funny how ten years seems like such a long time when one is young, but as one gets older it doesn't seem like that long ago at all. Ten years ago is when I first felt the overwhelming connection to Jess that I've felt since that day and hopefully will always feel.

I don't really remember the day that Jess came to live with us, I only remember that one morning Luke left alone and the next day he came back with a little boy. That little boy was Jess. I remember liking Jess the moment I met him. He was very smart, he like to read, just like I did, even if he did criticize my literature choices.

Jess was from the outset a brother figure to me. He kept an eye on me when we were playing outside and especially after I started school when I was five I can't recall precisely when he took on that role but I can fully recall the day he finally fulfilled it for the first time.

Summer days are long and boring in Stars Hollow. Some mornings I would go to the Inn with my mom and other mornings I would go to the diner with Luke. Sometimes Jess would come too, but he was three years older than me so he often had things to do with his friends.

The morning in question was a diner morning. I never told Mom but I like diner mornings. I got to sit on the counter on a phone book and Luke would make me pancakes and milk. Usually he'd try and cook some fruit into the pancakes in some sort of smiley face, but I'd always eat around that. I hated fruit.

Luke was alone that morning except for his new short order cook Caesar and he didn't have any time to teach me chess or to play tic-tac-toe with me, so once I finished my book I got bored.

"Luke, I'm bored," I announced.

"Read your book, Sweetie. I'll have a break in a little while," Luke told me with a soft smile.

"I finished my book," I replied.

Luke looked around the diner, it was still packed. "You want to go into the square and watch Jess play ball? I'll come and get you after lunch."

I clapped my hands. "Yeah! Can I have some coffee?"

Luke hated Mom's coffee addiction and was determined to make sure I didn't inherit that bit of genetic material. So his strong, "No!" was not a surprise.

Luke lifted me off my stool and took my hand, "Caesar, I'm taking ten!" he called and led me to the green.

Jess and his friends were busy playing baseball in the center of town. No one was playing at the moment and Luke called out to Jess who was near the gazebo. "Jess! Bring it in!"

Jess jogged towards us his miniature blue baseball cap pulled over his eyes. "Huh," he said as he approached us.

I listened to Luke scold him for his noncommittal response and giggled. I like it when Jess got scolded instead of me. Luke cast a look at me for giggling so when Jess repeated his "huh" I bit my lip to keep from repeating the offense.

Luke put my hand in Jess' once he agreed to watch me. He told Luke I could watch them play. I didn't want to watch though. Jess never thought I could do what he did.

"I don't want to watch," I told him. "I want to play too."

Jess let out a long breath. "You can't play too, Rory. You're too little."

That made me mad. Jess thought that I couldn't do anything because I was a girl. When he wasn't saying that, he was saying I was too little.

"I'm not too little," I argued. "I'm six." I wiggled my hand out of his and used the thumb and my whole hand to illustrate.

Jess sighed again. "Rory, you hate sports."

I did. I didn't like running or sweating. It made me smell like a boy.

"Oh yeah," I agreed. Then I eyed the book in his back pocket. It was familiar. Jess had read it before. He liked it. He probably wouldn't let me read it but I ventured anyway. "Can I read your book?"

"What happened to your book from this morning?" Jess asked me and for a moment I was afraid he wouldn't let me read it.

Looking at my shoes I answered, "I finished it."

Jess reached into his back pocket and handed me the volume. "Of course you can read my book."

Jess led me to the big oak tree, the oldest tree in Stars Hollow and put his jacket on the grass so I could sit on it. "Here." He said something else but I didn't hear him. I was all ready worlds away.

The book was nice, but sad too. It was about an orphaned boy who no one really wanted. The story was a bit involved for a six year old, but I remember reading and rereading Jess' handwritten comments and the underline passages. It was like a window into his mind or something.

One character in particular reminded me of Jess, the Artful Dodger, who was so much a man in boy's body. I still didn't know the circumstances of Jess coming to live with us, but whatever they were, they had made Jess an adult long before his time.

I was so enamored with the story or the game that I was surprised when Alan Lowry appeared before me.

Alan was Taylor Doose's grandson. Taylor and Luke always had bad blood and Alan seemed to think it was his family duty to aggravate Jess and especially me. Now Alan was up to his tricks, he was in front of me and reaching down to snatch the book out of my hands.

He quickly achieved this goal and held the book over my head. I got up and shouted at him, "Give it back! It's Jess'!"

Alan mimicked me and started dancing around the ground trying to keep the book out of my reach. I couldn't help but think what an idiot he looked like, he looked like he was doing a bad imitation of Sly Stallone in that boxer movie.

Normally, I wouldn't care I'd just have Luke get the book back from Alan's dad later on, but this was Jess' book, it obviously meant something to him and I didn't want Alan to get his dirty paws on it, so I kept trying to get it away from him.

I leapt repeatedly for the book, but Alan kept moving it back out of my grasp. Finally he backed up while he moved and I tripped on a twig or a branch, I'm not sure what and fell hard on to the ground.

Pain shot through my knees and I felt the dirt and blood start to mix together. My lower lip quivered and I started to cry. I was looking up for Jess when I felt hands on me, hands that I didn't know and didn't like. Before I knew it or could fully react, Alan's hands were pulling up my denim skirt letting all of the boys on the field see my Barbie underpants.

Suddenly, maybe not so suddenly, Jess was there and I was free. The two of them rolled around on the ground. Jess was punching and smacking Alan around, yelling at him, words that were lost on me as I continued to cry. Alan was yelling at Jess trying to extricate himself, "Get off of me!" Alan cried.

I heard Jess respond to that comment, but I didn't understand what he said. I wanted them to stop fighting, I wanted to go back to the diner, I didn't want to stay there. I cried harder.

I didn't see how the fight ended, maybe it was when I called out for Jess, but suddenly the noise and shouting stopped and he was there gently running a hand through my hair to comfort me.

"Where does it hurt?" he asked gently.

"It doesn't hurt that much," I whispered. I just wanted to hide.

"I didn't ask how much it hurt silly," he said. "I asked where it hurt."

I buried her face in my shirt, my knees stung and I was embarrassed. "My knees."

Jess was quiet for a minute. I felt his hand stroke my ponytail up and down. I was soothed by that motion. Being in his arms, hiding my face from the world, made me feel safe. Jess made me feel safe.

"Rory, we have to let Uncle Luke look at them, okay Sweetie?" he asked me, his voice near my ear.

"My knees hurt," I mumbled. I didn't want to think how much it would hurt to walk to the diner. I remembered when my Mom hurt her ankle, Luke had carried her home. So I asked, "Can he come and get me?" I kept my face hidden.

"No, but how about I carry you to the diner? Would you like that?" he offered, tightening his arms around me.

I kept my face hidden and I nodded. "Put your arms around my neck and hold on."

I wrapped my arms around his neck and he carefully carried me to the diner. The whole way he talked gently to me, his voice soft and soothing promising that Uncle Luke would make it feel all better and apologizing for letting Alan get near me. He felt badly that I got hurt, only I was too shy and sad to tell him he was being silly.

When we got to the diner, Luke started yelling at Jess before he even noticed I was being carried in. He must have heard about the fight from Miss Patty or Taylor or someone.

"Jess, what do you think you're doing starting fights…" Luke stopped yelling at Jess when he saw me. Before I knew it I was being taken from the warmth of Jess' arms and being held tightly by Luke.

"What happened Baby?" he asked me with a gentle kiss.

"Alan happened," Jess told him for me. "I thought that he deserved a good ass kicking…sorry." Luke hated it when we swore.

I realized I better explain what happened before Luke yelled at Jess. "Alan took Jess' book while I was reading it. He called me names and he was mean and teasing me. Then I fell down and he showed everyone my panties."

Luke was not too happy with that answer, but it was the truth and he let up on Jess for fighting.

Luke bandaged my knees and gave both of us ice cream cones.

Jess stayed with me for the rest of the day. We ate lunch together and he taught me how to play Scrabble. Later, he held my hand and walked me home. He even helped me get ready for bed and tucked me in. That night when he said good night to me, I put my arms around his neck and gave him the tightest hug I could. I felt so bad about his book, I wanted to tell him. I hoped he would forgive me.

"I'm sorry Jess," I whispered.

"For what?" he asked.

"Because Alan took your book and because I messed up your game," I said feeling shy again.

"Alan's a jerk," he told me, again running his hand through my hair. That would become my favorite gesture. I hugged him again. "Anyway," he said, "I like sticking up for you. It's what big brother's do."

"Are you my big brother, Jess?" I asked him. I never thought of him as a brother, only someone who lived with me.

"Not technically, because we don't have the some mommy and daddy," he explained. "But I love you like a big brother, if that helps. And I'll always, always be there to protect you," he told me.

"You promise?" I asked him, sliding down under my comforter..

"I promise," he replied and turned out the light. Jess turned to leave. I wasn't sure if I should tell him what I had been thinking, Jess never said that word, nor did Luke, at least not to him, but I wanted to tell him how important he was so I decided to tell him. "I love you Jess."

"I love you, Rory," he replied. Little did I know those words were the beginning of something very beautiful.

Present Day

I felt lips touch the spot on my forehead above my hairline, "What are you thinking about?"

"That day when I was six and Alan Lowry…" I started to laugh.

"Yeah, I had to kick his ass, like what ten or twelve times over the years," Jess laughed.

"Well now I can use you to kick Tristan's ass," I sniffed.

"Point him out when we get downstairs," Jess said cracking his knuckles and stretching his arms.

I nodded and let out another laugh.

"What?" Jess asked.

"I was just thinking the two of us have had some battles over the years," I said.

"You still thinking about that thing before I left?" Jess sighed.

"No, I was thinking about the great book theft of '94," I told him.

Jess pulled me closer and let out a long sigh, "Ah, that battle."

A/N: Coming up next! And when you were ten.


	5. And When You Were Ten Jess

_And when you were ten_

_We didn't like each other_

The summer I turned thirteen, Rory and I had some of our worst battles, it was in every sense a "hot" summer. Well, maybe not in every sense, we were ten and thirteen, but hot in terms of temper and temperature alike.

I remember the day it began, it was a day in early July. Rory and I would usually go down to the old bridge to read. That day she was reading Ayn Rand's _The Fountainhead_ and I was absorbed in Hemingway's _The Sun Also Rises_. We sat against the tree, in companionable silence reading silently enjoying the warmth, the quiet, and the security of each other.

I recall thinking that day life couldn't get better than this. I was reading my favorite book with my best friend even if Rory was three years younger than I was and we both had a secure home to go to. Life was good and an event I thought would make it better, amost tore it apart.

Rory's voice broke into my thoughts. "Jess!" she whined. "What do I have to do to get you to stop writing in my books?"

"Read better authors," I replied. I hated Ayn Rand.

"That all ready happened. Ayn Rand if fascinating," she told me.

"Depressing," I countered. "You should read Hemingway."

"Boring," she argued. "I fell asleep reading that stupid book you made me read last week. I got sunburn and I peeled."

"That was _The Old Man and the Sea_. That can be a tough swallow," I relented. "You should try _A Farewell to Arms_. That's a great read."

Rory shrugged. "Only if you give _On the Night of January 16th_ another try," she bargained.

"Is that the play where the audience is the jury?" I asked. Ayn Rand did some weird stuff with her work.

"Yeah. Stars Hollow High did it last year remember?" she asked.

"Of course I remember," I sighed. "You made me go all three nights."

"Well we were trying to get Mom and Luke together, so it's okay," Rory defended.

"I am so glad they patched things up this spring," I sighed. "For awhile there I was afraid I'd have to…"

That was when I saw her. Miss Anna Teresa Benadetto, the most gorgeous girl I'd seen, well, ever. I'd never seen her before, so at first impression I didn't know her name, but I knew I wanted to know it. Rory's elbowing me made me realize I stopped mid-sentence.

"What?" she asked. "Afraid you'd have to…"

"Oh, nothing," I sighed. "Finish your book. I'll be right back."

I earmarked my page, something I rarely did and moved to catch up with the princess. She wasn't far and I could see she was a bit lost in her new surroundings.

"Hey," I called out to her. "You need some help?"

"Hi," she smiled. "Do you know where Doose's Market is? My Mom asked me to get a few things she forgot."

"Oh, Doose's is right in the center of town," I told her. "I'll show you if you like."

She smiled a full beautiful smile, braces free, unlike so many girls my age. "I would," she replied. "I'm Anna. Anna Teresa Benadetto."

"Jess Mariano," I replied. "Pleasure to meet you."

She smiled again, "Let's go."

Anna and I took the short cut to Doose's around the back of the Independence Inn. I thought she'd enjoy the view. We talked all the way to the market, about everything. I told her I lived in New York until I was seven, and that I now lived with my aunt and uncle. I didn't tell her why but I only knew her twenty minutes. She told me about her father's insurance firm and how he got transferred a lot, this time to Hartford. Before I knew it we were at the market.

"Well, here you are," I said. "Doose's Market. Can you find you…" I began then offered, "Can I walk you home?"

She accepted so I waited for her to get her items then escorted her around Stars Hollow pointing out important signs all the way.

That was how it started. I'd seen Anna and completely forgot about Rory at the bridge. Of course, being the hormonal thirteen year old I was I didn't notice that until suppertime when I got home.

"Uncle Luke! Aunt Lorelai!" I called out. "I'm home."

Both my aunt and uncle came out of the kitchen, anger clear in their stance and facial expression. "What?" I asked wondering what Taylor or Alan would accuse me of now.

"What did you do today, Jess?" Aunt Lorelai asked me.

"Not much. Read, went for a walk, showed the new girl around Stars Hollow…"I listed off.

"Did you go to the bridge today Jess?" Uncle Luke asked. "Think. Did you maybe forget something?"

Then I remembered I'd left Rory at the bridge, "Oh crap," I sighed and turned to go and get her.

"Don't bother ," Aunt Lorelai cut me off. "She's home. She's up in her room."

"I should go apologize," I sighed. "It's just…"

"Go!" They both said in unison. I let out a sigh and headed for Rory's room.

I knocked on the closed door before I went in, a habit I developed after Rory and I had an unfortunate encounter this past winter. Its not like the rose bloomed or anything but Rory got a bit self conscious around me when my voice started to change, so now we knocked.

"Rory, it's Jess," I called out. "Open the door!"

She didn't and I heard no movement to open it either. So I tried again, "Rory! Rory, I'm sorry. Open the door, please."

It went on like that a few more minutes until finally she came and opened the door.

I could tell right away that I was in really big trouble. Rory had been crying, her eyes were red, her cheeks stained with tears. "You left me at the bridge!" she shouted. "I didn't know what happened to you. I thought…"

"Rory, I'm sorry," I told her sincerely and moved to hold her in my arms, running my hand through her hair. "I just got sidetracked and…" There was no good way to say this. I had done something I never wanted to do I'd hurt Rory, and somewhere in my head I'd made the conscious decision to hurt her. I deemed someone else move important.

To fully understand that one has to understand my relationship with Rory. It's unique, because while my uncle is married to her mother we are not brother and sister or even cousins, but since I moved to Stars Hollow I'd treated her like a sister, protected her like a brother, she was special to me and I vowed I'd pay her back for her unconditional admiration. Now, though that was changing, I was changing, growing up, and a spunky kid no matter how much I loved her was not enough for me anymore.

"There's no excuse," I finally said. "I screwed up and I am sorry."

For any other ten year old that would be enough, but not for Rory. "You said you were sidetracked."

"Yeah, there's…" Rory knew my lying face so well; there was no use in trying. "There's this new girl in town and I was showing her around. I just…"

"Forgot about me. You forgot all about me!" She accused. I couldn't deny it was true.

"I'm sorry, Rory!" I replied more harshly than I intended to.

"So what you have a girlfriend now so you can forget all about me?" She was really starting to yell now.

"No, Rory God, you're acting like a spoiled…" I caught my self before I did something I'd regret. I tried another tactic. "Look, Rory did you think I'd never have anyone else to hang out with? I like hanging out with you. You're a cool kid, but I'm a man now. I'm going to have a life I can't spend all my time hanging out with a sixth grader."

In retrospect, that came out so badly Rory had every right to get angry at me and hate me, but at the time my thirteen year old head was filled with thoughts of glorious conquest and status, getting a girl, a great looking girl for 12 before anyone else. It would be the first time I'd have a chance to be Jess Mariano. Not Luke Danes' nephew, not Lorelai Gilmore's charge, but myself. With Ann I'd have no past, I wanted that so much it clouded my head.

The look on Rory's face couldn't have been worse if I raised my hand and slapped her. Tears leaked out of her eyes but she could still find her voice ready to accuse me, to defend herself. "Wow!" She said. "That…get out of my room, Jess!" she yelled throwing Colonel Clucker, the stuffed chicken I bought her when I was just seven and moved into this house. Next came a Mother Goose First edition, the _The__ Old Man and the Sea_. All the while yelling at me.

"God, Rory, grow up!" I yelled in between the random flying objects.

Before more could be said, Uncle Luke and Aunt Lorelai came in, "Rory! Jess!" Her voice snapped us to attention. 'To y our corners."

Rory moved to her bed and sat down on it with her arms crossed. I moved closer to the door, as far away from her as I could possibly get.

"What's going on in here?" Uncle Luke asked sternly arms folded across his chest.

"Jess left me in the park," Rory began.

"I said I was sorry about that," I defended. "But she's acting like a little brat!"

"Hey!" Uncle Luke stopped me. "No name call is still a rule in this house. Use your words."

"I have a few words I could use," I snapped, getting angry at everyone. "Snotty, spoiled, selfish, little…" The next word was muffled by Uncle Luke's hand.

"Okay, that's it," Lorelai said. "Jess upstairs to your room now. Wait for me. Rory, wash your face and wait for Luke in our room."

I stormed upstairs as soon as she said that and up to my room and flopped on my bed. I turned on my stereo, The Clash of course.

I all ready felt bad about what I said to Rory. I never could control my temper, especially where she was concerned. One good thing though, we always made up in short order.

Aunt Lorelai opened my door after a knock and turned off my music. I felt the mattress dip under her weight and sat up on my bed. "What happened today Jess?" she asked me. "This behavior is not like you and it's not like Rory."

"She's just…she's being so childish and selfish…"

Lorelai sighed. "She is a child, Jess, and you left her by herself for hours."

"I know and I felt..I feel bad about that, but…"I blushed thinking about it.

Aunt Lorelai always was very perceptive. The blush gave me away, "Ah it's a girl. You're interested in a girl."

I nodded. "Yeah. We were reading at the bridge, me and Rory, and I saw that new girl that moved to town. Before I even thought about it I asked her where she was going. She said Doose's and I showed her around and…"

"And before you knew it you forgot all about Rory at the bridge," she finished. "Who is this girl?"

"Anna Benadetto, her dad is in insurance," I replied.

"Oh, she just moved in on Cherry Street. I met her mother at Luke's today. Nice lady," Aunt Lorelai said. "So you like this Anna?"

I shrugged. "I don't really know her that well, but I really liked being with her. She was nice and pretty and I don't know."

"That may be more Luke's department than mine, but Jess you are coming to an age where you're going to be interested in girls and dating. You are growing up and you are ultimately going to want to spend less time hanging out with Rory and more time with girls and guys your own age," Aunt Lorelai said. "But what happened today Jess, is not okay. You can't expect Rory to adjust like that, you have to talk to her and ease her into this."

"Is there a point to this conversation?" I asked, more snottily than I intended. She should have been ripping me a new one.

"The point is Jess, the girlfriends you have in high school are a dime a dozen, but the relationships you've had all your life, Uncle Luke, Rory, me, your little cousin," she patted her stomach, "we are always going to be here. You can't alienate us. Not for someone you hardly know."

I knew she was right, but I was thirteen and stubborn. "This is my fault?" I shot out. "Rory's the one who started throwing things and carrying on like a lunatic and this is my fault?"

Aunt Lorelai sighed, "It's not your fault, Jess. But Rory, she loves you. She idolized you and for six year you two have been inseparable. You can't just cut those ties in one night, kid. And I know she was getting out of hand down there, and I'm sure Uncle Luke is dealing with that, but you messed up too, kid."

She paused for a moment then continued. "Things are going to change, Jess as you grow up. You need to give Rory a chance to adjust to that and not by yelling at her or name calling. Make her feel secure, let her know while things may change, she'll still be a part of your life. And I'll make sure she understand she has to give you more time on your own."

I sighed and nodded. "I never should have left, but forgetting was an accident. And I never should have said all of those things I said down there. I'm sorry, Aunt Lorelai." I truly was.

She slid off the bed. "I'm not the one to tell. Give Luke a few more minutes, calm yourself down, and I'll see you downstairs."

Rory and I made up that night but the rest of the summer was an ongoing war. She was as jealous of Anna as I was protective of her. Aunt Lorelai and Uncle Luke gave up trying to mediate us and Aunt Lorelai actually started referring to that summer as the Gilmore-Mariano War of 1994.

I didn't like Rory much, that summer she was ten, but still, I never stopped loving her.


	6. And When I Was Ten Rory

From the day he came to Stars Hollow Jess Mariano was my best friend. It was just natural, we both loved to read; we loved to argue and debate about books. Everything was perfect, that is until the summer of 1994 when I was ten.

I remember the day it started like it was yesterday. I remember everything that happened between Jess and I that well, but that day, those summer months nearly destroyed our perfect connection.

Jess and I were reading our respective favorite authors, me Ayn Rand, and him, Ernest Hemingway. We were engaged in one of our good natured squabbles about the quirkiness of Ayn Rand's creative flair. The conversation turned to the play _On the Night of January 16th_, a production SHHS put on the year before, I had dragged Jess to that play every day it ran, and he gladly attended. Of course he had said it was because were using the play as a pretext to get my mother and his Uncle Luke back together, but I like to believe he secretly enjoyed it.

I had just mentioned that very fact when Jess stopped mid-comment about being afraid he'd have to do something, he never said what. I was curious about what he meant so I prompted him to finish his thought.

"What?" I asked. "Afraid you'd have to..."

"Oh nothing," Jess answered but he seemed far away as if his body was there but his mind was not. "Finish your book. I'll be right back."

Jess earmarked his page, a practice he loathed and started walking towards the path that led to town. Something was off, something was really bugging him. I could tell. I could read Jess faster than the morning paper.

Normally, I'd be upset to be left alone, but Jess had promised he'd be right back and Jess kepy his promises, at least he always had in the past.

That was a philosophy I'd rethink by the end of the day.

I waited for Jess for nearly four hours until it was nearly suppertime. Something must have happened to him. He'd never not come back for me, so something horrible must have happened.

I ran through the wooded area towards the rear entrance to the Independence Inn where my mom was manager. The rear entrance would take me into the kitchen so Sookie, the best cook in the entire world, was first to see my fretful expression.

"Rory, what's the matter, Sweetie?" she asked.

"Jess went to look at something and left me at the bridge, but that was four hours ago," I spurted out of breath from running. "I have to find my mom, something must have happened to him."

Sookie's features were sympathetic, she must have realized what happened before it dawned on me. "Rory, I saw Jess walking toward Cherry Street with a girl not too long ago. He's fine," she assured me, not aware of what she had done.

Jess may have been fine, but with that new information, I sure wasn't. I headed to our house a sad little girl.

My mom was all ready there when I got home. She and Luke were in the kitchen arguing about what else these days, coffee and pregnancy.

"Lorelai," I heard him say, "we agreed to two cups a day to avoid the headaches. This would be your third cup.

"Hey, Mom. Hey Luke," I smiled but my heart wasn't in it.

"Hey, Sweetie," Mom greeted. "What's wrong? Where's Jess?"

"I don't care," I grumbled and went into my room.

"Hmm, what's with her?" Luke asked.

"I'll find out," I heard my Mom say.

Mom knocked on my door. "Rory, Sweetie, Jess and you argue?"

"No," I snapped. "Jess wasn't there to argue with. He left. Sookie saw him on Cherry Street with someone else. He just left me at the bridge," I told her.

"Oh, Sweetie," Mom sympathized. "It was an accident, I'm sure."

"Whatever," I grumped. "Just let me know when dinner's ready."

Mom knew when to leave me alone, she knew when I needed to be on my own and I loved that about our relationship. Someone else would never understand that, no one else but Jess.

I was not stupid at ten years old; I knew what was happening here. Jess was getting tired of me, he wasn't interested in being my best friend anymore. And that thought really hurt.

About half hour later, I heard Jess call out his presence at the house.

"Bust him?" I heard Luke suggest.

"Yeah," Mom agreed.

I couldn't hear what was said between Mom, Luke, and Jess but soon I heard Jess' voice outside my room. "Rory, it's Jess," I heard. His voice sounded hesitant a sign of his remorse. Jess hated having to apologize for anything. "Open the door," he requested.

I didn't I was still far too hurt to face him, hurt and embarrassed that I'd thought he cared about me.

"Rory!" his voice came again. "Rory, I'm sorry. Open the door, please."

Still I did not, but not because I couldn't face him, because I didn't want to show him my tears.

Once I successfully halted their flow I opened the door I know by Jess' expression I'd not erased their evidence. No use in the high road now. "You left me at the bridge!" I shouted at him. "I didn't know what happened to you. I thought..."

Jess halted any further assault by pulling me into a hug. I always loved Jess' hugs. I felt secure in his arms, protected, loved, and safe. Now was no different. As he moved moved his fingers through my hair he apologized, "Rory, I'm so sorry. I just got sidetracked. There's no excuse. I screwed up and I'm sorry."

That last part of his apology was lost on me. My mind was focused on a word that came earlier on. Sidetracked. He was sidetracked. I had to call him on that. "You said you were sidetracked?"

Jess looked uncomfortable at the question. He didn't want to explain to me why he was "sidetracked." Jess didn't want to lie to me, I would know anyway. Jess as a bad liar. "Yeah, there's..." he began and for a moment his cheeks reddened as if he was contemplating lying but he didn't. "There's this new girl in town and I was showing her around. I just..."

That solidified it for me, I was obsolete. Jess had replaced me with someone else, someone smarter, prettier, probably older and he had forgotten about me. I was overwhelmed by that. I was very angry and hurt by that. I sought an outlet for my anger.

"Forgot about me! You forgot about me!" I shouted at him daring him to deny the truth in that statement.

"I'm sorry, Rory!" Jess snapped at me. "What right did he have to snap at me?" I wondered.

"So what, you have a girlfriend now so you can forget all about me?" I shouted and I rarely shout. I'm not a reactionary person, but the circumstances, my jealousy, Jess' attitude were making me unreasonable.

"No, Rory," he replied. "God, you're acting like a spoiled..."

I knew what Jess wanted to say. He was angry at my tantrums at my outburst but he wouldn't resort to losing his temper. Instead he tried to reason again albeit unsuccessfully. "Look, Rory, did you think I'd never have anyone else to hang out with? I like hanging out with you, you're a cool kid, but I'm a man now. I'm going to have a life. I can't spend all my time hanging out with a sixth grader."

Truthfully, I lost Jess around the "I'm a man now" remark. A man? He was thirteen, far from my conception of a man. Luke was a man, my Dad was for all intents and purposes was a man. Jess, no way. I tuned back in just in time to hear him declare he couldn't spend his time with a sixth grader.

My face stung as if he slapped me then. That was all I was to him, a time filler. He had something better so screw all our history, all his promised of friendship that was all gone now. Looking back I see how irrational those ideas were, but at the time I was too angry to think clearly. I was to angry to have him near me. I was too angry to have anything he gave me near me. I wanted him out, I wanted it all out.

"Get out of my room, Jess!" I shouted picking up Colonel Clucker, the stuffed bird Jess gave me for my first birthday with him here and throwing it at him. I quickly followed that with my Mother Goose first edition he gave me for Primary graduation. Following that, The Old Man and The Sea.

All the while, I shouted at him, ordering him out, calling him names, doing anything to hurt him as he hurt me.

"God Rory, grow up!" Jess yelled at me as he tried to dodge the various items I was throwing.

I don't know how long I did this or if any of the objects made a connection because before I knew it Mom and Luke came in to end our battle. "Rory! Jess! TO your corners," Mom commanded.

The fight going out of me, I sunk down on the bed my arms across my chest. Jess stayed near the door.

"What's going on in here?" Luke demanded angry at the mess.

"Jess left me at the bridge," I shouted for justification.

"I said I was sorry about that," he replied. "But she's acting like a little brat."

"Hey!" Luke reprimanded. "No name calling is still a rule in this house. Use your words."

"I could use words to describe her all right!" Jess snapped. "Snotty, spoiled, selfish, bit..."

Jess was stopped by Luke's hand before he could get out the rest of the insult.

"Okay, that's it," Mom said. "Jess upstairs to your room now. Wait for me. Rory, wash your face and wait for Luke in our room."

Whenever Jess and I would have a disagreement, Mom and Luke would separate us and talk to us individually. Usually either to avoid favoritism or because Mom just reached Jess better she usually talked to him while Luke talked to me.

I went up to their bedroom and waited on the big bed after I washed my face, not that it did anything to stop my tears.

Jess had forgotten all about me, he didn't even care about that. I was right I had every right to be angry at Jess, and he had yelled at me! Incredible!

Luke knocked before h can inside then entered with a book I'll label as stern sympathy. He was not happy with my temper outburst, but he understood it.

"Hey Luke," I sniffed studying the pattern on my mom's bedspread.

Luke sat down next to me and opened his arms for me to crawl into. Luke was the closest thing I had to a father. I called him Dad until I was five when I met my actual biological father. He wanted to play a stronger part of my life and for a while he was but I'm off the subject.

Luke held me close a few minutes then moved me aside to sit beside him. "Talk to me," he commanded. "Explain you behavior downstairs."

I couldn't. My behavior that little temper tantrum had no explanation other than anger and as much as I hate to admit it, jealousy.

"I don't know," I said. "I was just... he called me a sixth grader."

"You are a sixth grader," Luke countered.

"And he forgot me," I justified. "He went off with Little Miss Tra la la and forgot all about me."

"He did apologize for that," Luke reminded me.

"But he didn't mean it. He also said he...he said I was spoiled and that..." I couldn't finish defending my behavior or my rationale. I reacted like baby like the child Jess reminded me I was. He shouldn't want to spend time with me.

"Rory," Luke's voice pulled me back. "Please I can't try and understand what happened if you don't tell me."

"Jess left me alone at the bride and went off that new girl," I sighed. "I guess I really felt...He really hurts my feelings. It was like I wasn't important anymore."

Recognition flashed on Luke's face. He understood the fear and anger at the feeling or being replace. Granted he had more at risk, more time invested in his marriage to Lorelai than Rory had in her "friendship" with Jess, but either way that rejection real or imagined hurt.

"Oh, Rory. Jess is growing up, Sweetie. Jess is three years older than you," Luke began. "At five or six or eight that isn't a big difference, but at thirteen..." Luke sighed and began again. "When a boy turns thirteen, as he begins to become a young man he becomes interested in other things, new things...Rory was Jess spending time with a girl today? A girl other than you?"

Luke's question brought back the pain of the rejection. My eyes misted as I nodded. "He told me he was and that's why he forgot me."

Luke nodded. "Rory teenage boys' date. They want to spend time with teenage girls and Jess is coming to an age where he's going to spend time with girls."

"He can spend time with me," I said. If he wanted to spend time with girls why wasn't I good enough? I asked Luke that question and he looked uncomfortable.

"Rory, Jess is going to want to spend time with girls his age and do things teenagers do," Luke said. "And if you want to be able to spend time with Jess even if it's not as much time, you have to respect that. You really have to respect that," Luke said firmly. "You can't get upset at Jess for doing what is natural for him to do."

Luke was confusing but talking was not a strong suit of his, he was better at comforting. Still, I understood his message.

Jess was growing up, he wanted to date and I couldn't stop it. I couldn't do a darn thing about it, it was the natural order of things.

"So, he can just forget about me?" I asked my tears falling. "I'm just finished."

Luke pulled me back onto his lap again. "No, Kiddo. You're not finished and Jess made a mistake today. He forgot you. He didn't forget about you," he explained. "What he did at the bridge today was wrong and his way of dealing with the situation wasn't the best, but he is sorry. You," he pulled my nose, "know he is."

I giggled at the old affectionate gesture that was private for Luke and me. "I know."

"So, Rory, you have to cut him some slack, huh? You and Jess are always going to have each other, no matter how many girlfriends kissed my brow. "Now you owe Jess an apology for throwing that tantrum and you need to tell him why you were upset. Maybe you can sit aside a day to be together to avoid another mess like the one downstairs," Luke suggested setting me on the ground.

Quickly I hugged Luke and went to find Jess. Mom had finished talking to him a few minutes ago.

He came to me and pulled me into a tight hug as we both apologized for our part in the days dramatics.

Jess and I set aside Sunday and Wednesday as out "reading" days, but soon his girlfriend started to intrude on those. At first we rescheduled or they included me, but the situation disintegrated as the summer wore on.

Eventually it got to a point where Jess and I would barely speak to each other unless the comment was hurtful. Mom and Luke saw little use in remedying the situation so they stopped trying. Those very long three months became known as the Gilmore – Mariano War of 1994.

Looking back I can say that I didn't like jess much that summer, in fact I hated him. I can also testify to the delicate line between love and hate because even through all of that Hell. I still loved him.


	7. When You Were Thirteen Jess

Present Day:

I kissed her hair. "That was one of most trying times in our relationship," I admitted. "I don't think I'll ever forget it. I don't think we ever had a harder time."

Rory shrugged, "I think we did have a harder time. I think the last three years, when we didn't talk to each other at all, when we didn't know what the other was thinking or feeling was harder."

I thought about that for a minute. "I knew what you were feeling. I just didn't know what I was feeling until now. All I knew was I wanted to be macho. Stupid huh?"

"Yeah," she admitted. "At least when I was ten and acting like an idea we knew where we stood. These last three years, I thought you hated me for doing what I did."

I lifted her down turned chin with my thumb. "And I thought you hated me for treating you as I did. I'm so sorry for that Rory. It took guts to do that, to say those things," I told her.

"It did, and I meant those things Jess. I still do," Rory confessed. Only that admission didn't register in my mind, for my mind was all ready back at the day that had started the worst three years of my life, and little did I know would lead to the best days I'd ever have.

_When You Were Thirteen_

_You Were my funny Valentine_

1997 August

"Do you have to go?" Rory asked me, as we sat on our bridge on an August day in 1997.

That was her response t my revealing to her that I would be leaving before the end of summer to live with my father in California. I knew Rory wouldn't understand I barely did, but it was something I had to do.

I'd been contacted by my father, whom I had not seen since I was very little. He wanted to make amends with me for abandoning me. I, at first, didn't want to go, but Uncle Luke convinced me I had to see my father, learn about who I was, on the Mariano side. I had to do that, he said, before I could fully become a man.

It was decided I'd spend a year with my Dad in Venice Beach then if I wanted to I could come back to Stars Hollow and graduate high school. The only thing left to do was tell Rory. That was what I was doing now.

"Yes," I replied. "Uncle Luke's right. I don't know my Dad or any of my Mariano relatives. I need to fill in those gaps."

"I need you here, though," Rory told me her voice cracking.

I reached out and stroked her hair, "I know, but Rory, I need you to understand that I need to do this for myself."

Rory sighed and moved closer to me leaning her head on my shoulder. I slipped my arm around her and placed a kiss on her soft hair. "I don't understand," she replied. "I'll just miss you so much."

"I'll miss you, too," I answered. "But I'm not going to China, you know. I'm only going across the country."

I felt her nod as she burrowed into my shoulder. Then I felt her tears. I wanted to say something to comfort her but there were no words for that. So I let her cry and I held her close until it passed.

As Rory began to grow up, we grew closer. OF course, e had out differences, especially during what Aunt Lorelai called the Gilmore-Mariano War. But once we passed that, we grew even closer.

Lately, I was beginning to feel that Rory was seeing me as more than her best friend or big brother. In fact, two of my buddies ­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­Mark and Jack said she had a crush on me. They teased me mercilessly about that. Rory knew where our boundaries lay though, she was a smart kid. Rory knew I loved her, but she also knew she was not the type of girl who attracted a guy like me.

What kind of guy was that? Macho, the bad boy with tons of mystery and attitude; at least that was my image. Rory saw around that, and that was another issue.

"You okay now?' I asked when she pulled away from me.

She nodded. "I don't want you to go, but I do understand."

"Okay, Pretty girl," I said rising from my perch on the edge of the bridge. "Let's head back and make a list of everything we should do before I leave."

Rory got up and we walked back to the house hand in hand. Uncle Luke and Aunt Lorelai were sitting on the couch when we got back, my little cousin asleep on Uncle Luke's lap.

"Rory, why don't you head to my room and you can start on that list. I'll be up in a minute," I told Rory.

Rory headed up the steps and to my room while I sat down on the ottoman across from my uncle and aunt.

"How'd it go?" Aunt Lorelai asked.

"Better that I expected," I replied. "She's not happy with the idea but she understands."

Uncle Luke nodded, "Okay good. So what are you two doing now?"

"We're going to make a list of everything we want to do before I leave," I replied. "I want to spend time with her so she knows how much I…" I couldn't finish saying it. But Uncle Luke and Aunt Lorelai knew. "I better go upstairs."

Each day for the next two weeks was spent at least partly with Rory. We read at the bridge, went swimming and to the movies. The other time was spent either with the family as a whole or with my buddies.

The days spent with Rory were fun, bright and happy but there was constantly this cloud there reminding me that soon this would be gone and in its place would be a lot of pain and emptiness. What I had to do was determine what would hurt more, a year away from Rory and the comfort of the status quo or a lifetime of not knowing who I really came from or who my father truly was I decided the latter was true.

I noticed in those days that Rory suspected crush seemed to grow. She was becoming more affectionate and clingier. I could tell him some of our talks on the bridge she was trying to tell me. She never quite got it out though until the day before I was set to leave.

I'll never forget that day, for it was the day when I could have ruined my entire life.

Uncle Luke, Aunt Lorelai, Rory and I were going to have a movie night so I spent the day with ­­­­­­­Mark and Jack. We played basketball in the yard, and spent time hanging around.

Aunt Lorelai was at the inn and Uncle Luke took my little cousin ­­­­­­­­­­­­­Jake to the diner, leaving Rory home. I saw her in the window watching us play, watching me play.

I could tell by the way she played with her hair and the far away look she was deep in thought. If only I'd known.

We were sitting on the back porch eating tuna sandwiches when Rory came down. Neither Lorelai nor Rory ever had any sense of timing and that proved true in this case tenfold.

Rory, dressed in an outfit more appropriate for a night on the town than a movie night came downstairs and stood in the doorway. She was fidgeting and seemed nervous, but I was too busy to notice.

"Jess, can I talk to you for a minute?" she asked.

"I'm kind of busy, Rory. Can it wait?" I asked.

"No," she replied. "It'll only take a minute. Can you come here?"

I should have guessed the situation was serious but I was too busy being carefree to care. "No, tell me out here. I don't have a lot of time."

I may never know why Rory chose to declare her feeling that day in that way. But she did. I'll also never know why I handled the situation as badly as I did, but I did. I'll never stop regretting that.

It took guts for Rory to do what she did, and even in my embarrassment I respected her for it.

"Um, Jess, I would really prefer to say this in private but if I don't say it now I never will so…" she trailed off.

An important note here is that my buddies ­­­­­­­­­­­­­were always teasing me about my close relationship with Rory. They were either jealous, ignorant, or both, but I felt the need to leave Stars Hollow with my mostly macho reputation intact.

"Spit it out, Rory! I don't have all day," I snapped advancing toward that end.

"Sorry, this is just hard to say," she sputtered. "I don't want you to go to California. I want you to stay here in Stars Hollow with me. I love you Jess and not as your sister or your step cousin or your friend, but was a girl," she declared openly. "I…I don't even know why I'm…I just want you know that. We could be great together; we have tons of things in common. I think we should date."

I heard the declaration, I heard the reason at the core of it, and I heard the guys snickering in the background. My reaction here mattered to my reputation. It came down to a matter of looking like a jerk in front of the guys, or being a jerk to Rory. It once again came down to the lesser of two evils, which could I fix more easily, which could I sacrifice only temporarily. Rory of course, after all she'd always be there, especially now that she put her heart on her sleeve.

I studied Rory, her over made face, her long hair that hung limply as so many thirteen years old girls hair did, and her teeth, while white and small were highlighted with metallic braces. Rory was cute at thirteen, but not overly confident, and certainly not what one would consider pretty. That shouldn't have mattered in my decision, but it did.

"Rory, God, I can't believe you picked now of all times to tell me something like that," I declared.

"Well, there isn't a whole lot of time left is there?" Rory retorted all ready knowing where I was going.

"Rory, we're like so not supposed to be together," I sighed. "You're like a bookworm, a geeky, gauky little book worm. There is not way, that I would ever be interest in that with you."

"Well I hate to remind you that you weren't exactly a heart throb at thirteen and you are even more of a bookworm than I am," she pointed out. Rory always could bite hard.

"Yeah, well," I ran a hand through my hair. "Still, that doesn't give you cause to think I could be attracted to you. Please."

Rory was getting upset now; she was studying her shoes and shifting her weight from side to side. I could see the tears swimming near her eyes. "I didn't…it wasn't for…" she couldn't even for the sentence.

I could hear my buddies chuckling at her upsetment, I wanted to die from the pain doing this was causing. Still it was having the desired effect.

"Look, Rory, why don't you just…"

"Jess, I'm sorry okay, I just…" she moved towards me, trying to put her arms around my waist. I knew why she was doing this, this was her way saying she was sorry and asking if all was back to normal. I backed away and held up my hands to warn her away, "Look Rory, this is never going to happen. I'm never going to like you like that so just get away from me."

"Jess, please…" She began again.

"Get away from me you little freak!" I finally said, enunciating each word so there was no misunderstanding.

Rory stared at me for a few minutes, tears openly falling down her cheeks. She turned around and went inside. I turned around and went back to my sandwich only I was now to upset to eat.

The guys left when Uncle Luke got home and I went inside to apologize to Rory. I knew from the angry look on her face that I would have some explaining to do.

While Uncle Luke began on my bon voyage dinner, I went upstairs and knocked on Rory's door. It was unlocked and Rory's cold unemotional voice called out, "Come in."

"Hey," I greeted nervously. "Can I talk to you a minute?"

She was lying on the bed, her nose in a book. "I have nothing to say to you. This freaky bookworm is busy. Go away please."

"Rory, please," I pleaded. "Don't be mad at me. I was a jerk and…I was a jerk."

"Not even," Rory replied. "Look, Jess, there is nothing that you have to say that I want to hear. I was stupid, naïve and I paid for that. I'll never make that mistake again." She went back to the book.

"Rory, it was just a bad time to…and we're like…."

She picked up her headphones and put on the music. Loud.

"Listen, this is why I'd never want to date you. You are immature; you're a little girl Rory." I didn't know why I was talking. She wasn't listening.

I moved and pulled the headphones off her ears. "You want to hate me and be mad at me, fine," I said. "But this is my last night here; let's not ruin it for Uncle Luke and Jake or your Mom. Let's just try to act like two adults, shall we?"

"Wouldn't we need another adult for that?" she retorted.

I deserved it, I knew I deserved it. I'd put my reputation above her feelings, a very immature thing to do. But hell I was sixteen, I was far from maturity.

She sighed at my consistant stare, "Fine. We can act like adults, and not let this interfere. But I'm not going to forgive you for today Jess. I hope you have a great time with your Dad, because after tonight I never want to see you ever again."

Those were the last true words Rory and I spoke to each other. For the rest of the night, we were cordially polite, but not genuine. I could tell by the cold way she looked at me and by the really frigid hug she gave me before I left that she was serious about not wanting me around anymore, about never wanting to see me again. It was not the classic Gilmore temper, it was a pure and calculated feeling and completely genuine. I left Stars Hollow that day knowing I'd destroyed something precious, and not a day went by that I didn't wish to have that moment back. Too bad it was too late.


	8. When I Was Thirteen Rory

A/N: This is the last chapter of the flashback sequence. Hence, there are only three chapters left of this story. The last two will deal with the present time and pick up at the party. Thank you for reading.

A/N 2: The details of this story will be ironed out and made clear in my next piece, which takes place beginning in 1984. Some of the questions that were posed as to why Rory doesn't call Luke dad and what made Luke and Lorelai separate will all be made clear in the companion piece _Love Lives._ This will be a lengthy, third person alternate universe piece ranging from 1984 until the present day.

_When I Was Thirteen _

I could tell from the moment Jess asked to meet him at the bridge he had something serious he wanted to discuss Jess is usually very carefree, a bit reckless even, the rebel without a cause, so the seriousness of his tone and demeanor was a huge clue as to his motive, if I'd only know where it would lead.

Jess was all ready there when I arrived staring forlornly into the water, kicking his leg. I could tell immediately something was wrong.

"What's wrong?" I asked sitting beside him. "You look serious."

He nodded. "I am, Rory. What I have to say is very serious, so hear me out before you get angry at me."

"Fair enough," I replied. "Are you doing?' I was trying to break the ice but by the look on his face and the silence Mom and Luke had been walking around in lately made me worry.

"No, I'm not dying," he replied with a small laugh.

"Are you moving?" I asked also a partial joke. I never expected his reply to be yes.

"For a year, yes," he answered. "I'm moving to California to live with my Dad for a year."

"California, wow," I replied. "For a year?" I felt like a parrot.

"Yeah," he confirmed. "Liz got a letter from Dad. He's apparently remembered the fact that he has a son and wants to get to know me." He sounded bitter.

"And you're going?" I asked. Obviously he was but I was in shock.

"I didn't want to at first, but Uncle Luke says every man should know where he comes from on both sides, so I'm going," Jess told me on a long sigh.

"Do you have to go?" I asked. I all ready knew the answer, but I still had to ask. I couldn't just let it go.

"Jess was quiet for a long time. He was thinking about his answer. Finally it came, "Yes Uncle Luke is right. I don't know my Dad or any of my Mariano relatives. I need to fill in those gaps."

I understood that for I often felt a desire to be better acquainted with my father and with my Hayden grandparents. Still I didn't want Jess to go to California to do that. "I need you here, though," I told him feeling the bubble in my throat break.

Jess reached out and stroked my hair, a gesture that had been ours since I was a very little girl and he beat up Alan Lowry at the town square. "I know, but Rory, I need you to understand that I need to do this for myself."

I sighed and buried my face in his shoulder, cherishing the closeness while it still existed. I felt Jess slip an arm around me, trying to comfort me and brush his lips against my hair. "I don't understand," I confessed. "I'll just miss you so much."

"I'll miss you too," he assured me. "But I'm not going to China, you know. I'm only going across the country."

I nodded and snuggled into the warmth of his shoulder letting my tears flow. Jess knew that when I was upset sometimes it was necessary to just let me cry and express my feelings. He held me close and gently ran his hand through my hair to comfort me.

As I got older and caught up with Jess in maturity, he and I grew closer. We were able to stand on more even ground. He was less a protector and more a confidant. I also, I must admit, was beginning to realize that I admire Jess and like Jess as more than a brother and friend. Now, I would never be able to tell him that.

I began to pull away when the flood stopped. He placed a small kiss on my brow, "You okay now?" he asked.

I nodded. "I don't want you to go, but I do understand."

Jess smiled. "Okay, Pretty Girl," he said standing up and offering me a hand. "Let's head back and make a list of everything we should do before I leave."

I got up and took Jess' hand in mine. I loved the way his hand felt wrapped around mine. It was strong and warm, everything that Jess represented to me. I wanted to tell him that to let him know, but I couldn't, not now. If I did it now he'd think it was reactionary, he always accused me of being reactionary. I promised myself though before he left that I'd let him know what was in my heart.

When we got home Mom and Luke were sitting on the sofa, my little brother sleeping on Luke's lap. Jess sent me up to his room and he lagged behind. I sat on his bed, and absorbed the essence of him. His room was orderly chaos, mostly blue with Clash and Metallica posters all over. God I was going to miss him. I was going to miss the boy who knew and shared my soul.

I saw his pen and some paper on his desk and started a list. Jess and I weren't going to have a lot of time together, but I planned to make the most of it.

Jess came upstairs and flopped down on the bed next to me. "So what's on the list?"

"Not much," I smiled mischievously and tried to hide the words I scrawled on the page.

After some rolling and tickling, Jess managed to get the list from me. "Read, swimming, fishing," he read. "Egg Taylor's car…Rory!" he laughed. "I always wanted to do that. You never would let me do that."

I met his eyes and smile, "Yeah, well…you got to be bad sometimes right?" I threw his own words back at him and received a special Jess smile.

"You got to be bad sometimes," he affirmed grinning. "And you know the biggest, baddest, meanest guy around? It's…the…tickle monster." He laughed and attacked me. Jess knew all the right places to hit to get me laughing and for a while we rolled around on the floor, him tickling and me squirming to get away. This was the nature of us, I hated to be tickled, but for Jess it was all right. That was just our special thing.

When the tickle war was finished, Jess and I lay on the floor still laughing and breathing hard. "I'm going to miss this," he whispered so softly I almost didn't hear him.

"Me too," I replied, and said nothing else. There was nothing else to say.

Jess and I did a lot together the next two weeks. We got everything on the list accomplished, even the egging. In the time we shared, I felt my feelings for Jess grow. They had been beyond the regular feeling of familial ties for a while, but the impending separation made my heart swell with emotion for his even more so.

Every day we spent together, we talked at the bridge. Each day I tried to find the words to vocalize my feelings, but every time it seemed like the wrong time. Before either of us knew it, two weeks had passed and it was Jess' last day with the family, and I still had not told him what I had vowed he would know.

On that final day, Jess had his friends Mark and Jack over the house to play basketball and have lunch. I watched them from the window of my room, studying Jess, how handsome he was, how well built, and so on. I knew it was a bad time to approach him about my feelings towards him, but if I waited until Mark and Jack left, Luke would be home. I'd been putting it off long enough, and there was never any time like the present.

I took a deep breath and headed downstairs. I was wearing my favorite outfit, khaki shorts and a black tank top. Something about it gave me confidence, and with that feeling to quell the butterflies in my stomach, I called out to Jess from the kitchen door, "Jess, can I talk to you for a minute?"

"I'm kind of busy, Rory. Can it wait?" he asked.

"No," I replied. "It'll only take a minute. Can you come here?"

"No, tell me out here," he insisted. "I don't have a lot of time."

I felt my nervousness begin to win out over the confidence at the idea of saying this in front of Mark and Jack, but I'd be damned if I'd back out now. I don't think I'll ever be sure as to why I still pressed on even with the audience, especially considering Mark and Jack were usually teasing Jess about out relationship. I knew him well enough to know that I'd be thwarted especially in front of his friends, but still I continued to have my say. "Um, Jess, I would really prefer to say this in private but if I don't say it now I never will so…" I paused and he used that time to snap at me

"Spit it out, Rory! I don't have all day."

"Sorry, this is just hard to say," I finally managed. "I don't want you to go to California. I want you to stay here in Stars Hollow with me. I love you Jess and not as your sister or your step cousin or your friend, but was a girl. I…I don't even know why I'm…I just want you know that. We could be great together; we have tons of things in common. I think we should date."

There was silence for a few minutes, except for Mark and Jack's snickering. I knew I was not Jess' "type" but he was leaving and all that mattered was what was in my heart. In my selfishness, I failed to consider Jess' feelings.

"Rory, God, I can't believe you picked now of all times to tell me something like that," he snappd

"Well, there isn't a whole lot of time left is there?" I retorted my anger at his leaving starting to show.

"Rory, we're like so not supposed to be together," he sighed. "You're like a bookworm, a geeky, gauky little book worm. There is not way, that I would ever be interest in that with you."

"Well I hate to remind you that you weren't exactly a heart throb at thirteen and you are even more of a bookworm than I am," I bit out. Of all the reactions I'd consider, anger was not one of them

"Yeah, well…Still, that doesn't give you cause to think I could be attracted to you. Please."

I felt tears well up, but I would not let them show. I had royally messed this up. This was not supposed to make Jess angry but it did. I made him angry and I embarrassed him in front of his friends. I wouldn't blame him for his anger.

"Jess, I'm sorry okay, I just…" I moved towards Jess out of impulse, trying to latch on, to apologize with my whole being. Communications was sometimes lost with us, but not physical signs of affection, I resorted to this not, but he backed away saying, "Look Rory, this is never going to happen. I'm never going to like you like that, so just get away from me."

"Jess, please…" I began, trying to amend for his embarrassment.

"Get away from me you little freak!" he finally said highlighting each syllable as if he as talking to someone not capable of understanding his meaning.

Once I could breathe again, I ran upstairs to my room. I flopped on my bed and opened _Oliver Twist_. I couldn't concentrate on reading it though; all I could think about was what a terrible wrong I had committed. I prayed that Jess would forgive me and that things could go back to normal. That was a pipe dream.

Once the guys left, Jess came up to apologize, but I was both too angry at his rejection and too embarrassed by my actions to hear him out. We called a truce for the sake of the family, but we did not mean any of the things we did or said in the next twelve hours. I knew the moment the words left my mouth that I had destroyed something precious. I wouldn't blame Jess if he never tried to talk to me again, or if he never came back. Things would never be normal now, not after this. Perhaps, part of me even hoped that Jess wouldn't come back, that way I'd never have to face up to what I did. It would be easier if we didn't' see each other, ever again. Or so I thought.


	9. From Now On You're Gonna Be Mine Jess PO...

As I returned from my musings, I finally comprehended what Rory just said. She'd just said his feelings from age thirteen still held true today three years later.

"Rory," I began, but she held up her hand.

"I all ready know you'll never felt anything like that for me, but I never lost those feelings for you, Jess," she confessed.

I studied her wide blue eyes, how they held mine with emotion. She was so beautiful, so perfectly beautiful, and with her soft spoken declaration I realized that I'd been waiting for this moment my entire life, I just hadn't been able to realize it until it was nearly too late.

I'd know for three years that Rory's feelings were genuine, I knew Rory, she'd never put her feelings out there unless she'd carefully analyzed them. I also knew what was in my own heart. I'd loved Rory Gilmore since she was four. Sure that loves had changed over time from a protective brotherly love, to the cherished love of friends, to something was more mature, real and substantial, something that lives were built upon, a foundation, if you will, for our future together. Rory had seen it, felt it long before I did, but I had seen it, I had felt it grow, even if it was at a distance.

In the three years I was gone, I never forgot about Rory or what she'd said. As I met girls in California, I compared them to her, measured them against her. No one measured up to the one person I held everyone against. No one had her beauty, her intellect and her charm all wrapped up in one neat package, in short, none were Rory. I'd never be able to give my heart to any of those girls, and it wasn't until I tried nearly to years that I realized that was because my heart was still in Stars Hollow, Connecticut, held tightly in Rory's hand.

"Rory," I began. "You are the only constant thing in my life. You are the only person who really loved me, I mean besides Uncle Luke and Aunt Lorelai. You are the one person who knows all the details and still loves me and doesn't judge me. I know that now, even more than I did before I left," I reached out for her hand.

"I never stopped regretting what I said that day. I should have let you apologize," she declared.

"I think its good you didn't," I said. "If you had I never would have had the time to realize how much truth was in your words. We are perfectly suited, Rory. We have history and we are a perfect and snug fit." I ran my hand down her arm. "These last three years made me see that, especially when no one else ever made me feel like you did. No one."

"Jess," Rory said steadily. 'What are you saying?"

"I'm saying yes. I'm saying I agree with you. I'm saying what I should have said three years ago," I declared. "I'm saying..."

This was so hard to say. At nineteen I was not the most experience in matters of the heart. However, with Rory, it seemed natural the way of things. "I'm saying I love you, out loud," I finally managed.

Rory was stunned. I could tell by the wide eyes expression on her face and the way her jaw slackened.

"Jess..." she began but I stopped her. "Rory, I know I treated you horribly in the past. I hurt you and cut you out of my life for three years. I wouldn't blame you for not forgiving me..."

I knew I was rambling but I was having a hard time confessing my feeling. Like Uncle Luke I was more demonstrative.

"Jess," she said again laughing this time. "Didn't you hear what I said? I said my feelings were true, they are still true," she confessed.

My words left me as I gave in to my more instinctual demonstrative nature. I slipped a hand across Rory's porcelain cheek and with the gentlest pressure pulled her lips towards mine. Using my lower lip, I slipped it between Rory's slightly parted ones in a gentle, promising kiss.

It was a perfect kiss, with enough pressure to let her know I was serious, but soft enough not to frighten her. I slowly moved my lips over hers for only a moment, and then I pulled back and looked into her eyes to gage her reaction.

Rory raised her hand to her lips touching them lightly. Her blue eyes shimmered with tears of emotion until finally she said, "Thank you."

I couldn't help but laugh at that reaction. "You're welcome," I replied. "I've never gotten that reaction before."

"Well, it a first for both of us. I've never been kissed before," Rory confessed blushing.

I gently caressed her silky hair again. "So Sweet Sixteen and never been kissed is no lie, hmm?" I asked.

"Well, it is now," she replied a hint of mischief in her smile, as she leaned over and kissed me. It as a shy kiss, but she seemed to welcome my advances. As I responded I deepened the contact. Gently, I teased her mouth opened with my tongue. She granted me admittance and after some coaxing her tongue entwined with mine. I pulled back a moment later and quickly returned for a small peck.

"For it being your first time, you're pretty good at this," I complemented.

"I must have a good teacher," she quipped.

I took both of her hands in mine, "Okay, Pretty Girl. What do you say we go downstairs? Everyone is probably missing the birthday girl."

Rory nodded and rose from the bed. I watched her straighten her dress and fix her hair in the mirror. I couldn't help but smile as I looked at her really looked at her all grown up. She noticed my smile and gave me one of her own.

"What's the smile for?" she asked me.

"It's for you," I replied. "I was just thinking how you've grown up right before my eyes. I remember beating Alan Lowry like it was yesterday."

"So do I," she sighed. "Things sure have changed."

I shrugged. "I'm not sure I'd say change, maybe evolved."

Rory smiled again, "Okay, evolved," she relented.

I opened the door ad let her step through it, before following behind her.

"Should we tell Mom and Luke?" she asked taking my hand as we headed downstairs.

"I think we should let them figure it out for themselves," I replied with a gleam in my eye for I had all ready formulated a way of telling the world that everything was finally right again.

A/N: One more chapter. It will be Rory's POV but pick up when they get downstairs. Enjoy.


	10. From Now On I'm Gonna Be Yours Rory POV

A/N: This is the last chapter of Happy Birthday, Sweet Sixteen. This picks up where the last chapter left off and is told in Rory's POV. The title of this story and the song used inside it is credited to Neil Sedaka.

This story is part of a universe I'm creating for myself. The universe will be more clearly highlighted in my alternate universe JavaJunkie family fic, Love Lives. Prolouge and first chapter should be available soon. There will also be a sequel to this piece, I'm thinking of calling 7th Heaven. It will deal with an older Rory and Jess and their life together. These stories will be told in my usual third person format.

I felt for this piece, that telling both sides of the situation through the characters own eyes was important, essential even to realizing how different people can view the same thing. Also, to demonstrating how well these characters know each other and understand each other. I'm sorry if that method irritated or upset some readers, but I felt in this case it was necessary to understanding how they arrived where they are at present.

Thank you for reading this story. I hope you all enjoyed it. I look forward to your reviews.

Rory's POV Present Time

I wondered what Jess had up his sleeve for revealing our newly discovered relationship to the world. When we rejoined the party, Mom and Luke intercepted us almost immediately.

"He was a great present. Wasn't he Sweets?" Mom asked smiling.

"He sure was," I replied and hugged Luke. "Thanks for bringing him home."

"My pleasure kiddo," Luke replied. "It was getting awfully boring in Stars Hollow without Jess to stir things up."

"Speaking of stirring things up," Jess interjected. "Excuse me."

I watched Jess make his way through the crowd, around my Chilton peers, passed Grandpa's business cronies and Grandma's society pals to where the DJ was set up.

"What's he doing?" Mom asked me.

"Beats me," I replied. "I never know what he's doing."

Our question was answered before we could resort to ridiculous speculations because the music stopped and the DJ spoke into his head set.

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen, this next song is going our specially to our birthday girl. We would like it if she could join us up here for a moment," the DJ invited, sharing a mischievious grin with Jess.

I looked at Mom and Luke, my eyebrows knitting with confusion.

"Go ahead," she urged and leaned back against Luke's chest.

I stepped toward the makeshift dance area and for once the stares of Tristan and Paris mattered little to me. I could only see Jess, only Jess' gaze registered on my mind. The rest just faded into the background.

"This song is dedicated to the Miss Lorelai Leigh Gilmore from Jess Mariano. Happy Birthday, Sweet Sixteen."

_Tonight's the night I've waited for _

_Because you're not a baby anymore_

_You've turned into the prettiest girl I've ever seen_

_Happy Birthday, Sweet Sixteen_

_What happened to that funny face_

_My little tomboy now wears satin and lace_

_I can't believe my eyes you're just a teenage dream_

_Happy Birthday Sweet Sixteen_

I marvelled at how Jess' body moved as he pulled me into a dance on the makeshift floor. I was awestruck at how he seemed to be able to capture me into that same rhythm. I shouldn't be though, because we always communicated well, with or without speoken words. This dance was no different.

_When you were only six, I was your big brother_

_Then when you were ten, we didn't like each other._

_When you were thirteen, you were my funny valentine _

_But since you've grown up your future is sewn up_

_From now on you're going to be mine_

I could only then see the real significance of this song, for Jess and I passed all those points in our relationship before ending up here, dancing together to an old sixties beat, for the most part grown up and together in every way that mattered.

_If I should smile with sweet surprise_

_It's just that you've grown up before my very eyes_

_You've turned into the prettiest girl I've ever seen_

_Happy Birthday Sweet Sixteen_

The dance ended a moment later to voluminous applause and Jess led me back to Mom and Luke.

Luke had his arms around Mom's waist, his hands resting lightly on her belly. "Was it..." Mom began. "Was that true?"

"What?" Jess asked playing dumb.

"The song. Was it true?" she clarified, even though I knew she knew he was kidding.

"Yeah," Jess replied before I could. "Rory and I realized a lot of things and for me it was that... Let's leave it at I've been waiting for this night for a very long time."

Jess kissed me then, our first public kiss, before he tugged on my hand and led me back to the makeshift dance floor.

As the song played and we moved to the slow music, a more modern piece, Jess pout his lips to my ear, "You are mine now, you know, from this moment," he said more than asked.

Slowly, I smiled. "I know and that's just how I want it to be," I assured him as I lowered my head to his shoulder and listened to the lyrics and the love in Jess.


End file.
